While brevity is not one of my strong suits, I shall try to keep my commentary on the last half of the summer short and sweet – so short and sweet, in fact, that my observations and opinions on some noteworthy events from the last half of the summer shall be presented in the form of little poems. Enjoy the shortness and the sweetness, but take some wet-naps: they’re sticky.
Heath Ledger’s creepily awesome performance
In The Dark Knight was great;
Makes me hope that the Dead can see what’s going on down here…
…Except for when I masturbate.
July 24th: Barack Obama speaks in Berlin, in front of 200,000.
Obama is admired around the world;
And somehow this is bad to think?
Perhaps they’re putting stupid,
In water half the people drink.
July 29th: A 5.4 earthquake hits the Los Angeles area.
The Earth shook below
The Hollywood Hills.
How long will it be
Till the Big One that kills?
July 29th: SIRIUS and XM satellite radios merge after over 17 months of government review. It took less than one year to approve the Exxon/Mobil merger.
SIRIUS and XM
Could finally unite,
In spite of the Radio’s
August 7th: Brett Favre is traded from the Green Bay Packers to the New York Jets.
I woke in the morning,
And Favre was a Jet.
If only I’d placed,
That 100 to 1 bet.
August 8th: John Edwards admits to having an affair with his videographer.
Affairs in remission,
Are not all that bad,
According to Edwards,
The Cad of All Cads.
August 8th: The Opening Ceremonies commence the Games of the XXIX Olympiad.
The Opening Ceremony,
Was remarkably done.
China showed what can happen
When working as one.
August 13th: Michael Phelps wins a record eighth gold medal in a single Olympics.
Eight medals of gold,
Is a Hero of Heroes,
His feats to behold.
August 15th: Mike and the Mad Dog (Chris Russo) officially end their historic, 19 year run as one of America’s preeminent sports-talk teams.
An end of the era that was
Mike and the Dog on ‘The FAN’.
Now Chris leaves for SIRIUS,
To be the one Man.
August 24th: The Summer Olympics conclude with the Closing Ceremony. The United States finish second in the gold count with 36, to China’s 51.
Hats off to China,
And all their medals of shining gold.
And not too bad for Team USA,
All of whom play without being told.
August 27th: Barack Obama accepts the Democratic nomination for President of the United States.
For people who say,
“Well what will he change?”
Please pay attention,
It’s not all that strange.
September 4th: John McCain accepts the Republican nomination for President of the United States.
This convention is nonsense;
Its delegates creepy.
Social fluff and no issues,
Put me to sleepy.
September 4th:The 2008 NFL season officially kicks off with the Superbowl Champion NY Giants hosting the Washington Redskins.
Football has started,
Our Nation’s true past-time.
Now 31 teams hope for
Better than last time.