Archive for June, 2010

The following 15-minute video is pretty much all you need to know regarding what is happening on the front-lines of the BP Oil Disaster.  Kindra Arnes, a Venice, LA, native, delivers a mind-blowing account of her dealings with BP, and the effects the oil-giant’s spill has had on her community.  I know it’s a bit long, but I urge you to watch this video; you won’t find a more compelling human voice of this tragedy.

A great big thanks goes out to the Cajun Boy, for posting this.  My heart goes out to you, your people, and the rest of the Gulf Coast.

I’ve caught the World Cup fever, and the only cure: more vuvuzela!  And it looks like I am not the

only one.  President Clinton has World Cup fever too. Check  Bubba celebrating the US victory over Algeria with Carlos Bocanegra and an oat-soda.

Today is the day.  No matter what the outcome when the United States takes on Ghana in the first knockout round of the World Cup, the game will be a tremendous experience, as pretty much the entire nation will have our eyes and hearts trained on a television set around 2 o’clock, eastern time.  The fact that we all – Red and Blue Americans – came come together behind the Red-White-and-Blue is a rare thing nowadays, and something to be savored.

These games have been so thrilling.  I watched all 90+ minutes of Wednesday’s US/Algeria match, and was disheartened as time waned by the notion that US Soccer would again be denied a chance to mix it up in the Sweet 16, especially after so many missed opportunities and poor calls.  But then Tim Howard made a great save and immediately fired the ball like an outlet pass in basketball to Donovan, and the fast break was on, culminating in Landon’s put-back goal after the Algerian goalies made yet another incredible save on yet another close range kick from Clint Dempsey.  I went bananas, as most of the country did, from what I’ve gathered.

What an amazing sporting event, with these electric finishes.  But, in the immortal words of Marty McFly in Back to the Future: Part III: “Why do we have to cut these things so damn close?”  I don’t know if I can handle another nail-biter; I’m down to my knuckles already.  Let’s get out to a lead for a change today, OK fellas?

And as I’ve mentioned in my previous post on the World Cup, Rivers Cuomo, front-man and driving force behind the great rock band Weezer, is not only a huge soccer fan, but a personal friend of Mr. 91′, Landon Donovan.  Anyway, Cuomo and Weezer wrote a song specifically in honor of the 2010 US World Cup squad called “Represent”.  It has become something of an anthem for our boys.  The new video is below, and it will get you fired up.

So get fired up.  This is gonna be a tough match: the “Black Stars” of Ghana are no joke.  But our team has a touch of destiny about it, and hundreds of millions of people 100% behind them.

So they’ve got that going for ’em.

U-S-A! All.  The.  Way.

Ain’t no party like a Solstice party, ’cause a Solstice party don’t stop!

Other than the freaks here at Stonehenge, no one really makes much of a fuss about the Summer Solstice.  Considering the importance the ancients placed on this annual solar event, History’s original summer blockbusters if you will, you would think that something would carry over.  When you consider how Christmas co-opted much of the traditions of the Winter Solstice, the lack of Summer Solstice play seems  even more perplexing.  I suppose with the Solstice falling between two of the Summer’s biggest holidays, Memorial Day and the Fourth of July, things are just too crowded.  Or maybe it is because there are too many people like myself, who are just too damned tired from the getting up with the Sun at 5 AM (I’m very photo-sensitive.)  Still, if fuckin’ Cinco de Mayo can gain the legitimate, drink-your-face-off, party status it has accrued over the past decade or so, I see no reason why we can’t go buck-wild in honor of the longest day of the year, when the Great Ball of Fire makes his longest appearance at our daily Northern People Party (The Sun is just pissah at a party, what with his funny anecdotes and all; he just lights up the room – heyoooooh!)

OK! Off to go mix up a big pitcher of 100 proof vodka and Sunny Delight ®.

So Happy Summer Solstice, Party People!

…So THIS just happened.

Posted: Monday, June 21, 2010 in Uncategorized


Yeah, so I’m walking up my driveway, wheeling back the garabge can, and there, about 30 yards in front of me, is the above pictured black bear. I don’t think she saw me- I’m assuming its female, as there have been reports of a black bear with cubs in the neighborhood;  I didn’t see any cubs, fortunately.  The whole experience was QUITE an adrenaline rush, to say the least, as I stood there watching her.  Had she decided to rush me, my plan was to use the big-ass, green WM garbage bin on wheels to defend myself.  It didn’t come to that, as she continued alongside the house towards the back yard.  Then, with my heart pounding in my chest, I ran into the house to grab the closest camera, which turned out to be my phone.  By that time she had made her way down the steep hill, crossed the street, and headed for the thicker woods; that’s when I took this picture – it’s from about 100 or so yards away, and a good 50 ft above.

And then I went to go change my drawers.

I’ve always been fascinated with bears, and have always wanted to see one in person.  Now I have. And it was pretty awesome.  But it does suck, and saddens me that since we have so encroached on these poor creatures’ habitats, she is forced to mingle with us assholes.

p.s. – This was my first blog post created and sent completely from my phone.  I’m gonna try and do more of this.  We’ll see how it turns out. xoxo

The Monday Morning Punter, as you may know, is in reference to one of the only two occasions where the foot actually touches the ball in the misnomer that is American Football.  But for this month, picture the MMP like a bad-ass  goalie as he launches the ball like a freakin’ mortar across the huge field – Tim Howard will do fine for this mental exercise.  Yeah, I’m pretty into the World Cup.

Now I hardly know shit about soccer; never played the game, but greatly admire it from afar.  My sports were Football and Basketball.  And it is my familiarity with these two sports that always gave me an appreciation for the tremendous athleticism required to play Soccer; what it takes to run back and forth like a Basketball player on a field slightly wider than a Football gridiron.  But it’s not all about just running.  These cats have some hops, the way they get up there to head that ball, and balls, the way they risk those heads.  (I couldn’t play Soccer, because I’d be too busy screaming in a high pitched voice, “Not in the face!”)  The agility on display in this game is incredible, as the players weave themselves and the ball through a gauntlet of adversaries.  And I find it fascinating the way all these body parts are flying around and firing out, everything but the arms and hands.  It is all beautifully spastic.  And this all leads to some real rough moments and some pretty gruesome injuries.  Soccer players are kind of bad-asses, expect for when they flop about like Vlade Divac or Manu Ginobli (it’s probably not a coincidence that some of the NBA’s best all-time floppers hail from countries where Soccer is big.)

Another big reason for my appreciation for Soccer is that lots of my friends not only played and play the game, but are really good at it; back in the day they won a lot of games .  At Masuk High School, my alma mater, the Panthers were a force to be reckoned with, as we dominated southeastern Connecticut, and were in the mix for States.  Big Ups to my boys – Kenyon, Jeff, Dave, Lex, Chris, Tony, among others – who anchored those great Masuk teams of the mid 90s, from the time they were freshman or sophomores.  My college friends had mad success too: Nasty Nate, Jimmy, and Prah kicked ass in central PA for the Mifflinburg Wildcats; and the twins, Ben and Dan, brought home a New Jersey State Championship for Princeton High School.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not following club teams, nor do I have a favorite MLS squad.  This little crush only comes around every four years.  I’ll never be full-time Soccer fan because, like most Americans, I simply don’t have any more room in my life for another sport.   I have a hard enough time keeping up with the ones I already follow, especially since the NFL pretty much has a hold of at least a little of my attention all twelve months of the year now.  It’s just like the Olympics: most people dig the Swimming and Snowboarding and Track & Field, but they are not following the box scores  after The Games.

So I am gonna enjoy this spectacle that is the entire world coming together, and going bananas over The World’s Game.   The sights of the flags and crazy, colorful costumes, combined with the sounds of singing and, mostly, vuvuzelas (more on those in a bit), are all truly something to behold.  And finally, you have gotta love our own country galvanizing behind our Boys in Blue, as they try to kick the world apart.  U-S-A!!!  U-S-A!!!

Here a few other thoughts regarding the 2010 World Cup:

Far-Right Poltical Reaction –

It figures that certain far-right bloggers and commentators would get their myopic, xenophobic, moronic panties in a bunch over the inherent “Anti-Americanism” of Soccer.  What a bunch of jerk-offs.  These asshole see “Anti-Americanism” under their beds every night and in their Cheerios every morning.

New York City –

I was living down in the West Village back in the summer of 2002, when the World Cup took place, and was amazed and delighted by how often you would pass by a random bar packed full of people repping some nation, and cheering their squad in full throat at 9:30 on a weekday morning.  The crock-pot of cultures that is NYC has to be one of the most exciting places to be during the World Cup.

The Vuvuzelas –

By now everyone has heard about the plastic buzzing horns, also known as Vuvuzelas, that sound like gigantic kazoos, and created the sensation of being inside a bee’s nest.  They’ve been the talk of the tournament not related to the play on the field.  Most people seem to hate them, finding the sound very annoying.  Me, I don’t really mind them all that much.  For one, I’ve always been partial to droning sounds: I can easily sleep to the sounds of AC units, traffic, fans, and the like.  I’ve already has a nice little power-nap during the middle of one game; I of course didn’t miss any scoring.

But the biggest reason I dig the vuvuzelas is because of how much they seems to be pissing everyone off, specifically the powers that be like the players and commentators.  But that’s just the rascal in me.  “Waaaagh, the buzzing is bothering me!”  Shut the fuck up and do your job, Soft Serve.

Weezer’s Un-Offical, Official USA Soccer Anthem –

Weezer front-man, and Harvard-grad, Rivers Cuomo is apparently a huge soccer fan, so much so that the following  song is the second written specifically in honor of the US team, and its pursuit of our nation’s first World Cup.  Idon’t know about the last song from 2006, but this one rocks!  This is quintessential Weezer, blasting the power chords as they get us fired up for an improbable run at The Cup.  So enjoy this bitchin’ song and video, “Represent.”  If you really dig it, I’m pretty sure it can be had for free on iTunes until this Friday.

For whom The Bell tolls?  It tolls for thee, Slovenia, 10 o’clock est, Friday morning.  Keep talkin shit, and you’ll catch it but good you little punks!  U-S-A!!!  U-S-A!!!  U-S-muthafuckin’-A!!!!

By now you have all probably heard the tale of 16-year-old Abby Sunderland, whose quest to be the youngest person to circumnavigate the Earth was derailed last week by a fierce storm in the Indian Ocean.  And you have also probably heard the predictable media backlash, criticizing Abby and, more pointedly, her parents for what they deem to be a dangerous and fool-hardy quest.

To all those critics out there, self-righteously arm-chair parenting from afar, I say to you:  “Shut the fuck up! And worry a little more about getting little Bobby off those oxycontins.”

I think Abby is kick-ass!  From everything I’ve heard and read about this kid, she seems remarkably capable.  She was able to survive the 30-ft waves that ultimately took down her mast because she apparently really knows what she is doing.   Meanwhile, most 30- and 40- somethings shouldn’t even be allowed to drive cars: I’ve seen you assholes putting on your makeup and/or shaving during your morning commute, all while reading the paper and texting.  I’m not one to necessarily equate advancing age with sound judgement or capability.  So there.

And as far as allowing a 16-year-old girl to be in such a dangerous situation goes, I would argue that there are plenty more perilous predicaments the average teenager faces throughout the course of high school.  Maybe I’m the crazy one, but if I were a 16-year-old girl, I think I’d take my chances on a sailboat in the middle of the Indian Ocean, instead of in some rapey lacrosse player’s car.

Personally, I don’t understand the desire for this kind of adventure, or risk-taking: I won’t ever get on a motorcycle or into a helicopter, and I tend to drive the speed limit.  But this kid is really into sailing; it is what she loves to do.  Of course having a passion to paint seascapes is infinitely safer than actually sailing them.  Whatever winds your clock, or, in this case, floats your boat.

So good for you, Abby.  You seems like a nice, sweet kid, and are probably too polite to tell your critics where they can go and stick your broken mast.

…is Getting Cosmetic Surgery.

Posted: Tuesday, June 8, 2010 in Uncategorized

So the blog has been down recently for some construction and tweaking.   I’d like to think of this all as the blog getting a little botox and a tummy tuck.  I’ve been experimenting with different themes and formats, as well as learning about various ways to get the MMP more action.  Of course I’ve been writing during this time, but wasn’t able or willing to get it out there; so expect some Arbitrary Commentary regarding the last two months, coming soon.

Another thing is that I’m toying with the notion of not sending out emails and social networking notifications about new posts, in order to cultivate a  greater number of page hits.  Bottom line on this: I want y’all to keep coming back as much as possible, looking to field fresh punts.  Of course, in order to keep y’all comin’ back, time and again, I gotta keep my end of the bargain by posting as much as possible.