…on Summer 2008, in Review (late July-August-early Sept).

While brevity is not one of my strong suits, I shall try to keep my commentary on the last half of the summer short and sweet – so short and sweet, in fact, that my observations and opinions on some noteworthy events from the last half of the summer shall be presented in the form of little poems. Enjoy the shortness and the sweetness, but take some wet-naps: they’re sticky.

July 18^th: The Dark Knight opens world-wide.

Heath Ledger’s creepily awesome performance

In The Dark Knight was great;

Makes me hope that the Dead can see what’s going on down here…

…Except for when I masturbate.

July 24^th: Barack Obama speaks in Berlin, in front of 200,000.

Obama is admired around the world;

And somehow this is bad to think?

Perhaps they’re putting stupid,

In water half the people drink.

July 29^th: A 5.4 earthquake hits the Los Angeles area.

The Earth shook below

The Hollywood Hills.

How long will it be

Till the Big One that kills?

July 29^th: SIRIUS and XM satellite radios merge after over 17 months of government review. It took less than one year to approve the Exxon/Mobil merger.

SIRIUS and XM

Could finally unite,

In spite of the Radio’s

Political fight.

August 7^th: Brett Favre is traded from the Green Bay Packers to the New York Jets.

I woke in the morning,

And Favre was a Jet.

If only I’d placed,

That 100 to 1 bet.

August 8^th: John Edwards admits to having an affair with his videographer.

Affairs in remission,

Are not all that bad,

According to Edwards,

The Cad of All Cads.

August 8^th: The Opening Ceremonies commence the Games of the XXIX Olympiad.

The Opening Ceremony,

Was remarkably done.

China showed what can happen

When working as one.

August 13^th: Michael Phelps wins a record eighth gold medal in a single Olympics.

Phelps upon winning, 

Eight medals of gold,

Is a Hero of Heroes,

His feats to behold.

August 15^th: Mike and the Mad Dog (Chris Russo) officially end their historic, 19 year run as one of America’s preeminent sports-talk teams.

An end of the era that was

Mike and the Dog on ‘The FAN’.

Now Chris leaves for SIRIUS,

To be the one Man.

August 24^th: The Summer Olympics conclude with the Closing Ceremony. The United States finish second in the gold count with 36, to China’s 51.

Hats off to China,

And all their medals of shining gold.

And not too bad for Team USA,

All of whom play without being told.

August 27^th: Barack Obama accepts the Democratic nomination for President of the United States.

For people who say,

“Well what will he change?”

Please pay attention,

It’s not all that strange.

September 4^th: John McCain accepts the Republican nomination for President of the United States.

This convention is nonsense;

Its delegates creepy.

Social fluff and no issues,

Put me to sleepy.

September 4^th:The 2008 NFL season officially kicks off with the Superbowl Champion NY Giants hosting the Washington Redskins.

Football has started,

Our Nation’s true past-time.

Now 31 teams hope for

Better than last time.

In Memoriam: George Carlin, 1937-2008. & Some other stuff.

Shit! These things really do come in threes, don’t they: first Jim McKay, then Tim Russert, and now George Carlin. George would hate that I included him in that silly superstition. I certainly don’t feel as sad for the loss of George as I did for Tim. George would also hate for people to say, “He left us,” or, “He passed away.” George would prefer we simply say, “George died.” No, I feel more grateful than anything; grateful that we were all graced with his unique genius for such a long time. George Carlin had that rarified ability, that all great men and women posses, to be able to make us all see the world and ourselves in a different light.

There is really not much else I can say about the man that you don’t already know, or haven’t read. But I will say this: George Carlin has been a huge inspiration in my life. First and foremost, he made me appreciate words on a whole new level, and made me believe that language is most definitely a living, breathing entity. If you are familiar with George’s material, then you know that one of his biggest gripes is that, in the age of political correctness and over-inflated vernacular, so much of that life, the soul of our language, is dying. The other big reason I am so inspired by the man and his work is that he had a big set of brass balls on him. You have got to respect George Carlin for his courage to play by his own set of rules when that meant really putting yourself out on a limb; and in so doing he changed the face of comedy.

Oh, and he gave me, and any other aspiring writer or comedian, the greatest piece of advice of all time: Write everything down. Thoughts and ideas are like butterflies; and they need to be pinned down in a glass case.

If you really want to honor the memory of George Carlin, tell someone to go fuck themselves.

Stay tuned for my Arbitrary Commentary section later today or tomorrow, renamed for this week only in honor of George…

Brain Droppings

• A big up to all of you for carving a little time out of your busy lives to spend it with the Monday Morning Punter. We hit 1,000 hits yesterday, Monday, June 23, at 12:24 pm(est). Believe it or not, I cannot find words to express how much I appreciate everything. I am so blessed to have such supportive family and friends. It stinks in here; because You people are the shit!
• Don’t forget that our man Andy’s show, I Survived A Japanese Game Show, is premiering tonight at 9pm (eastern) on ABC. Lordhavemercy!

• Just so you all know that I’m not starry-eyed in love with Barack Obama, I’d like to share a few gripes I’ve recently had with the Junior Senator from the great state of Illinois. Mr. Obama better mind his Ps & Qs when it comes to the recent revelation that he and his people are closely tied to the whole ethanol movement. This ethanol stuff is a lot of bullshit, and is greatly tied to the farm lobby (the corporate farm lobby, mind you, the guys who fuck the little farmer) and huge copanies like Cargill. We should have all been driving electric cars 10 years ago – a not some little wind-up toy; i’m talking about svelte little whips that can zip around at 60-80 mph and get a range up to 100 miles per charge. See for yourself: So forget ethanol. Another thing that’s bothering me is the idea of just taxing the oil companies profits. We should be keeping a closer watch on practices, but to arbitrarily tax a company, no matter how high the profits, just seems a little un-American to me. And finally, Mr. Obama better get with the program regarding this FISA bill, that will be voted on by the Senate next week. He has expressed that he will support the bill that grants protection to the telecoms from prosecution retroactively regarding illegal surveillance. Mr. Obama has the opportunity to filibuster this on the floor of the Senate, as well as vote no, and not puss out the way the likes of Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi did, and just rolled over. http://blog.washingtonpost.com/the-trail/2008/06/20/obama_supports_fisa_legislatio.html
• And speaking of abandoning your principles in favor of playing politics: don’t think for one minute I’d even consider voting for John McCain. Hahahahahahahahaha.
• And while we’re at it: Joe Lieberman has really been pissing me off lately. First he threw in the towel in the 2000 election before the fight even started for the recount. Then he gets beat in the Connecticut primary by Ned Lamont, only to switch to Independent in order to continue to fight for his Senate seat, which of course he eventually won. He is the lynch-pin swing vote in an evenly split Senate. And now this dude is throwing away everything he has stood for for the past 20 years and supporting McCain, all over one issue. Oh, and he is planning to speak at the Republican convention this summer. Joe, you’re punking us, right?

…on A Change Coming.

In trying to find the right words for me to properly articulate the poignancy of Barack Obama being the presumptive Democratic nominee for President of The United States – the first person of African heritage to do so in the history of so called “Western” civilization – I had a moment of serendipitous fortune when I came across my senior project from college. It was an examination of Spike Lee’s Malcolm X, juxtaposed with the autobiography (as told to Alex Haley) the film was based upon. A shoutout goes to Professor Gallagher at Lehigh and his great class, ‘Reel American History’ (linked in the blogroll on the right).  My project can be found here at:http://www.lehigh.edu/%7Eineng/jace/jace-title.html

In one of the more memorable scenes from the film, the camera follows Malcolm en route to Manhattan’s Audubon Ballroom on that fateful day in February of 1965, as Sam Cooke’s amazing opus, A Change Is Gonna Come, plays in its entirety. I was reminded how this song is so moving and has such significance, especially in light of today marking 40 years since Robert F. Kennedy had his life taken. Cooke himself lost his life to violence in 1964. He was only 33, and did not live long enough to see A Change Is Gonna Come released, and later go on to be considered one of the greatest songs ever written.

Another moment of pure serendipity will come on August 28^th of this year, the 45^th Anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream” speech, when Barack Obama gives his acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention, in Denver, Colorado. In many ways, so much of Dr. King’s vision will be realized at that moment, regardless of what happens in November.

In the dark days of the 1960s, when it appeared that the forces of evil and intolerance would prevail, and the great leaders of the day were being cut down before our eyes, the seeds of a brighter and better America were sown. And in the following four decades, while it appeared that the progress was too slow, or that racism in America was simply lurking invisible in our institutions, a whole new generation of Americans gave birth to another, a generation that values other people not based on the color of their skin, but on the quality of their soul. Bigotry and ignorance of course still live; but the signs that their coming death is imminent are everywhere. Young people, progressives, and minority voters are energized like never before, and their will to realize the great promise of America has manifested itself into the largest and most effective grassroots political organization this country has ever witnessed. And meanwhile, those who ignorantly adhere to a biased and intolerant vision of our society are being increasingly marginalized and put in their proper place – often by their own children and grandchildren. Yes, our generation is absolutely the most colorblind of any before it, and I’d like to take this opportunity to thank all our parents for that.

The struggle is far from over; but it is definitely appropriate to pause and savor this moment, and realize that the future is always bright and that night is darkest before the dawn. Men like Martin Luther King, Robert Kennedy, Malcolm X, and many like them, gave their lives in the struggle to make America a better nation. They died not knowing whether or not such a sacrifice would bear fruit. Sam Cooke sang:

“There been times that I thought I couldn’t last for long
But now I think I’m able to carry on
It’s been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come. Oh yes it will.”

Somewhere, Sam, Bobby, Malcolm, and Dr. King are together, smiling.