Arbitrary Commentary: Manic Monday

Good morning, Party People; here’s hoping that your Monday isn’t sucking too hard.  Considering that my beloved Chicago Bears were completely embarrassed and annihilated by the New England Patriots and Tom Brady’s hair, we’re not doing all that bad out here.  And since we actually watched something other than football and football highlights last night for the first time in six weeks, I feel like popping off on a few buzz-worthy topics this morning.  OK, to the water-cooler!

• Speaking of the NFL, how about the inflatable roof of the Minnesota Metrodome collapsing? Did you see the video of it from the inside?  Pretty crazy stuff.  You just know that Michael Irvin imagined all that snow pouring into the stadium as cocaine.  What a shit-show: the Metrodome is like the white-trashy, above-ground-pool of stadiums with that big bubble roof.  Doesn’t it snow heavily in Minneapolis quite frequently?  If you are a Vikings fan, you might as well just give up the Ghost.  It’s never gonna happen for y’all.
• And speaking of big wet sloppy collapses, did you happen to catch the next Speaker of the House, John Boehner, bawling and blubbering all over himself on 60 Minutes? (here’s the whole piece; and its gets awkward at the 5:30 and 12:40 marks) There’s nothing wrong with men crying and showing emotion; but Jesus Christ!  Get. It. Together, man.  That shit last night was downright uncomfortable.  First of all, the subject matter seems a little strange to let flow the water-works like that: who cries like that when talking about kids and the ‘American Dream’ in this context?  (That is, unless deep down you are uncomfortable negotiating “the American Dream” with consistent cuts to educational spending.)  And the other thing that Mr. Boehner would do well to remember in the future: never continue speaking once the crying begins. It is best to just shut the fuck up for a few seconds until you can speak without sounding like some pathetic, gurgling fool (just ask legendary Phillies 3rd Baseman Mike Schmidt or my favorite fucking crybaby and phallic photog, Brett Favre.)  So again, men and women alike, do us all a favor, and let the tears pass a little before speaking.
• So GawkerMedia got the shit hacked out of them by a group calling themselves Gnosis or something, apparently because of Gawker’s arrogance in taunting 4Chan for not being able to accomplish such a hack. I’m a big fan of Gawker, but I suppose they sort of asked for it: a site like this had better have top-notch security, because they sure do piss a LOT of people off.  One result of the hack is that all the usernames and passwords of commentators have been compromised, which sucks, because now I have to go and change all of my passwords from “2012NJSitchAbs4life.”  Shit; that was a good one. (UPDATE: If you are concerned that your personal info may be compromised via the Gawker hack, you can check if the email associated with the data is among those released by the hackers here, at Slate.com.  And I am happy to report that the Monday morning Punter is in the clear!)

OK, Party People, that’s it for now.  Have a good day, and try not to kill each other out there.

The Rooster

My office now doubles as a sniper-perch because we have an issue with squirrels getting up into our soffit (the area between the roof and walls that leads to the attic.)  There are few sounds worse than that of some creature scurrying about inside your walls as you lie in bed trying to fall asleep, especially in a new home.  I need to make sure that these glorified rats are out of our house before getting the entry points (they are pushing their way through the siding where the soffit meets in corners) sealed up, or else we could have them tearing about up there as they are trapped and dying a cruel death; and then there is the putrid aftermath.  Bottom-line: they gotta go!

Of course trapping the squirrels is an option, and one that I spent time and money pursuing.  I purchased a Have-a-Heart (r) humane trap, and fully intended to snatch em up and take them on a nice little trip across the river to New Jersey (apparently, squirrels will find their way “home,”covering distances of at least 10 miles.)  After doing some research, this option became less and less appealing, as I learned that trapping and releasing isn’t very humane at all.  Squirrels maintain their own territory, and one displaced to a new area would most likely be doomed to attack or death of starvation.  Also, I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of transporting frightened, wild animals in my truck (illegally, most likely.)  And on top of that, the creature could injure itself as it bombed around inside the trap.  But all these issues became moot, because these clever fucks would not get into that trap.  I watched them gobble up the chunky peanut-butter left out in the woods in front of my office window, but once it was placed inside the trap, the squirrels approached but wisely declined to enter.

The trapping “solution” became a huge waste of time, with the setting, checking, and returning each night (squirrels only come out during the day, and I wasn’t interested in catching anything else.)  The squirrels continued to taunt me with their frolicking and foraging outside my window by day, and their scratching in the walls at night.  Clearly it was time to explore other options.  And I wasn’t about to pay a few hundred bucks for someone to take care of this problem for us.  I’m a half-assed do-it-youselfer, after all.

I decided to purchase a high powered, spring-action, break-barrel, Daisy (r) 1000 Powerline air rifle, that fires both pointed, snub, and hollow-point pellets at 1000 feet-per-second.  (Ralphie would have blown his fucking head off with this bad-boy at the end of A Christmas Story.) If I’m gonna shoot these little bastards, I’m not looking to just injure them and cause undue suffering; this Daisy (r) Powerline – named “Robin” – will most definitely produce a quick kill with a well placed shot to the center-mass.  And after successfully sighting my first ever scope, I fully intend on delivering a well placed shot to the center-mass.

(Not for nothing, but the “Sniper Solution” to our squirrel problem is by far the most fun, that’s for sure.  I’ve been having an absolute blast sighting my scope and taking target practice, and I’m getting pretty good as I get more comfortable shooting and breaking in “Robin the Rifle.”  When I’m working and writing at my desk, I take occasional target breaks and fire some pellets right from my office window, pictured above, at a series of cans and targets I positioned in the woods.  I really need to get a picture of “Robin’s” rifle barrel sticking out of my window from a distance, just to see how bad I am freaking out the neighborhood.)

Now look, I don’t particularly enjoy the act of killing (well, animals, anyway).  Hunting and fishing don’t really do it for me, because, again, I take no pleasure in killing animals.  But I sure as shit don’t particularly enjoy animal breeding within the confines of our home, and I take even less pleasure in paying hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars to repair the extensive damage that squirrels are capable of causing.

And with all that being said, know that I have absolutely zero problem with people who hunt and/or fish.  As a general rule,  I try to keep my hypocrisy at as low and manageable a level as possible: I’m no fucking vegan or anything, and unless you are, you have no right to bitch about hunting.  Because, as far as I’m concerned, hunting an animal, and quickly taking it out in its own environment, is far more of a humane scenario than that same animal being raised from birth in a horrible, disgusting, food-factory (and I love food-factory products.)  And of course there is the whole over-population issues for some game animals that leads to a brutal, starving existence.  But I digress…

In the wintertime, squirrels limit their outdoor activity to the mornings only, and then spend the rest of the day and night in the confines of their nests, which in this case, happens to be the warmth and comfort of our fucking house!  And in the case of really bad or cold weather, squirrels can just chill out in their dens for days!

If these little rodents had just settled for a tree nest like most of their brethren already do, we would have no problem co-existing on this tiny plot of earth; but noooo, the squirrels around here have been living large for over a year, after movin’ on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky.

So starting tomorrow morning, the motherfuckin’ rent is due!

On Voting

If you don’t vote today, come on, it’s time to face facts: you are kind of a shithead.

Voting is so easy.  Voting feels good, almost orgasmic even.  Think about it: the act of Voting is like the concentrated release of all the beefs and gripes and hopes and ideals that have been pent over time.  Voting is finally having our say.  Even if the system is rigged, and all our votes go uncounted, at the very least Voting reinforces the illusion that we live in a free and democratic society.

Again, Voting is easy, especially nowadays.  Even if you are forced to vote during rush hour and are stuck in a long line, with the tiny computers in our cellphones, you could get your banking done, set your DVR, and check Facebook, all while listening to some fresh tracks on your iPod.  And Voting is pretty fun anyway: I love people watching and trying to guess who that asshole is voting for.  And if you are like me, and have never been polled (especially since most of us youngerish people don’t even have hard land-lines) that makes our votes the monkeys-in-the-wrench, so to speak.  There is nothing better than proving the polls and pundits wrong.

Polling places are well within a reasonable distance to you and your home. The internet makes them easy to find, and is a great resource for learning about your district and the candidates.

Voting is sexy.  So come on!  Get in the mix.  Make your voice heard, because only once every year do we get the opportunity to pop off like our Forefathers intended.

So Party People, please VOTE.

TOM PETTY and THE HEARTBREAKERS …I Should Have Known It.

TOM PETTY and THE HEARTBREAKERS …I Should Have Known It..

After all these years, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers still rock like it’s nobody’s business.

…So THIS just happened.

Yeah, so I’m walking up my driveway, wheeling back the garabge can, and there, about 30 yards in front of me, is the above pictured black bear. I don’t think she saw me- I’m assuming its female, as there have been reports of a black bear with cubs in the neighborhood;  I didn’t see any cubs, fortunately.  The whole experience was QUITE an adrenaline rush, to say the least, as I stood there watching her.  Had she decided to rush me, my plan was to use the big-ass, green WM garbage bin on wheels to defend myself.  It didn’t come to that, as she continued alongside the house towards the back yard.  Then, with my heart pounding in my chest, I ran into the house to grab the closest camera, which turned out to be my phone.  By that time she had made her way down the steep hill, crossed the street, and headed for the thicker woods; that’s when I took this picture – it’s from about 100 or so yards away, and a good 50 ft above.

And then I went to go change my drawers.

I’ve always been fascinated with bears, and have always wanted to see one in person.  Now I have. And it was pretty awesome.  But it does suck, and saddens me that since we have so encroached on these poor creatures’ habitats, she is forced to mingle with us assholes.

p.s. – This was my first blog post created and sent completely from my phone.  I’m gonna try and do more of this.  We’ll see how it turns out. xoxo

…is Getting Cosmetic Surgery.

So the blog has been down recently for some construction and tweaking.   I’d like to think of this all as the blog getting a little botox and a tummy tuck.  I’ve been experimenting with different themes and formats, as well as learning about various ways to get the MMP more action.  Of course I’ve been writing during this time, but wasn’t able or willing to get it out there; so expect some Arbitrary Commentary regarding the last two months, coming soon.

Another thing is that I’m toying with the notion of not sending out emails and social networking notifications about new posts, in order to cultivate a  greater number of page hits.  Bottom line on this: I want y’all to keep coming back as much as possible, looking to field fresh punts.  Of course, in order to keep y’all comin’ back, time and again, I gotta keep my end of the bargain by posting as much as possible.

…on Summer 2008, in Review (late July-August-early Sept).

While brevity is not one of my strong suits, I shall try to keep my commentary on the last half of the summer short and sweet – so short and sweet, in fact, that my observations and opinions on some noteworthy events from the last half of the summer shall be presented in the form of little poems. Enjoy the shortness and the sweetness, but take some wet-naps: they’re sticky.

July 18^th: The Dark Knight opens world-wide.

Heath Ledger’s creepily awesome performance

In The Dark Knight was great;

Makes me hope that the Dead can see what’s going on down here…

…Except for when I masturbate.

July 24^th: Barack Obama speaks in Berlin, in front of 200,000.

Obama is admired around the world;

And somehow this is bad to think?

Perhaps they’re putting stupid,

In water half the people drink.

July 29^th: A 5.4 earthquake hits the Los Angeles area.

The Earth shook below

The Hollywood Hills.

How long will it be

Till the Big One that kills?

July 29^th: SIRIUS and XM satellite radios merge after over 17 months of government review. It took less than one year to approve the Exxon/Mobil merger.

SIRIUS and XM

Could finally unite,

In spite of the Radio’s

Political fight.

August 7^th: Brett Favre is traded from the Green Bay Packers to the New York Jets.

I woke in the morning,

And Favre was a Jet.

If only I’d placed,

That 100 to 1 bet.

August 8^th: John Edwards admits to having an affair with his videographer.

Affairs in remission,

Are not all that bad,

According to Edwards,

The Cad of All Cads.

August 8^th: The Opening Ceremonies commence the Games of the XXIX Olympiad.

The Opening Ceremony,

Was remarkably done.

China showed what can happen

When working as one.

August 13^th: Michael Phelps wins a record eighth gold medal in a single Olympics.

Phelps upon winning, 

Eight medals of gold,

Is a Hero of Heroes,

His feats to behold.

August 15^th: Mike and the Mad Dog (Chris Russo) officially end their historic, 19 year run as one of America’s preeminent sports-talk teams.

An end of the era that was

Mike and the Dog on ‘The FAN’.

Now Chris leaves for SIRIUS,

To be the one Man.

August 24^th: The Summer Olympics conclude with the Closing Ceremony. The United States finish second in the gold count with 36, to China’s 51.

Hats off to China,

And all their medals of shining gold.

And not too bad for Team USA,

All of whom play without being told.

August 27^th: Barack Obama accepts the Democratic nomination for President of the United States.

For people who say,

“Well what will he change?”

Please pay attention,

It’s not all that strange.

September 4^th: John McCain accepts the Republican nomination for President of the United States.

This convention is nonsense;

Its delegates creepy.

Social fluff and no issues,

Put me to sleepy.

September 4^th:The 2008 NFL season officially kicks off with the Superbowl Champion NY Giants hosting the Washington Redskins.

Football has started,

Our Nation’s true past-time.

Now 31 teams hope for

Better than last time.

…on Summer Vacation.

It has been some time since you all have heard from the Monday Morning Punter; and some of you have expressed some concern that you’ve been left off the mailing list; and I’m sure some of you have expressed some relief at that prospect (if this is the case, you need only to reply to my emails with a curt “UNSUBSCRIBE,” and you will no longer receive any punts in your inbox.) But never fear, or be very afraid, because the Monday Morning Punter is back and ready to take some snaps after something of a summer vacation.

Putting the blog on hiatus over these last five or six weeks was not so much a conscious decision as it was just a product of the meandering circumstances of my life and mind. If you know me, then you know that I like to fly by the seat of my MC Hammer style parachute pants, and let the wind take me where it will. Well, the winds have had me driving about the Tri-State area attending bachelor parties, weddings, and BBQs; they’ve blown in some houseguests to host; and they’ve steered me clear of most of the bullshit political commentary that passes for intelligent discourse. Also, the winds have shifted, and are coming from the North, bringing with them fantastic weather and the coming football season – more on this later. And what little writing I have done has focused mostly on my fiction.

As we approach Labor Day weekend, and the unofficial end to summer, I’m ready to again share my thoughts on the ins, outs, and what-have-yous of life on this little blue-green ball of rock we call Earth. But first, I’d like to share what I’ve been up to as of late, as well as my thoughts on what has transpired in the world since we’ve last talked.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

The first noteworthy event of the summer since my last post was seeing the Dalai Lama speak at Lehigh University. I mentioned this back in July, but was unable to really articulate the experience in a cohesive essay; so I will try my best to sum it up in a few sentences. The title of his speech was “Generating a Good Heart,” and most of what he talked about revolved around how to achieve this goal. His Holiness spoke at length about the immense importance of compassion and its power to help cure many of the problems we face as human beings in this world. One phrase he used a lot, and resonated greatly with me, was “internal disarmament.” By that he means that everything should start within each of us, by removing the walls within that impede our great capacity for compassion. When this “internal disarmament” is achieved then it is much easier for us to see clearly the shared and common experiences of human life. This will then result in a greater awareness of how each of our actions affects the world around us. And finally, the Dalai Lama stressed that this ideal need not be housed in a specific religious dogma. While God is “infinite love,” compassion, says the Dalai Lama, is a secular issue. Seeing the Dalai Lama speak in person was remarkable, in that the man exudes peace and love; and his message and teachings reach to the crux of the human experience: peace in the world starts with peace from within each individual. In the immortal words of groundskeeper Carl Spackler from Caddyshack, played brilliantly by Bill Murray: “Big hitter, the Lama.”

In late July I had the opportunity to celebrate the pending nuptials of our dear friend Larry, at one of New York City’s legendary steakhouses, Sparks, on the east side of Midtown Manhattan. I have always wanted to go there, more out of a macabre fascination with Mafia lore than a desire for a great steak. You may or may not know that it was outside of Sparks in mid-December 1985 that the boss of the Gambino crime family, “Big Paul” Castellano, was gunned down along with his driver Thomas Bilotti by four hitmen contracted by John Gotti. This completed the “Dapper Don’s” bloody coup as he ascended to the top of the Gambino family after spending most of his Mafia career moving up the ranks from petty hijacker and muscle to a short stint as Capo before taking out Big Paul and taking over. Sparks was Big Paul’s favorite place to eat, which is why he was lured there to face his ultimate demise. And he never even got to eat his last meal. So I figured, hell, if it is good enough for Big Paul (a nickname based, in some part, on his love of good food) then it is good enough for our crew. And boy was it ever. Since we were rolling about twenty deep, we had a private room reserved, complete with it’s own bar and tender (or maybe it wasn’t actually reserved, but Sparks felt the need to keep us separated from the other patrons.) What a cool experience it was; Larry’s college and high school friends all together telling stories and breaking balls, in a wood paneled room over some of the best steaks you’ll ever eat. Thanks again to Larry’s brother Dave, who put on a first rate celebration.

Another highlight of my summer came a few weeks ago when I made another trip north to my Alma Mata, Lehigh University, where the Philadelphia Eagles hold their annual training camp. Eagles fans are hardcore. I arrived at the beautiful Goodman Campus, where all of the sports facilities are located, at around 8:30 in the morning, and found the bleachers already full, and standing room only for the roughly ten thousand fans in attendance. Mind you, this was a Tuesday morning. It was really something else, seeing these remarkably massive and exceptionally fast athletes up close. (It took all of my self control to not run out onto the field during special teams practice, and start punting footballs to Brian Westbrook. Of course, if I did this I probably would have been tackled so hard that my spleen would have ended up in my feet.) After that final morning practice of training camp came to an end, and fans filed out towards the autograph tent, I waited around to meet the man I came to see. For the last few years I have been able to realize one of my life’s aspirations: that is to be a regular caller on a sports radio show. SIRIUS satellite radio has a channel, 124, devoted entirely to NFL football talk, and I listen to it religiously. One show in particular, my favorite, is called “The Blitz” and it is hosted by the incomparable Adam Schein. I’ve been calling in to “The Blitz” on an almost weekly basis to share my thoughts on my favorite team, the Chicago Bears, as well as the rest of the NFL. And in that time I’ve developed a rapport with Adam and the others hosts and have achieved the vaunted “good friend” status. So it was quite a thrill to watch Adam and co-host, and former NFL lineman, Ross Tucker, broadcast “The Blitz” live from Eagles camp. And when they had a break, I introduced myself to the guys, using my caller handle “JC from Philly.” Adam seemed genuinely excited to meet one of his, as he said, favorite callers, face-to-face; and he graciously spent about 15 minutes or so, chatting with me about the NFL and our lives in general. He was an incredibly warm and enthusiastic guy, which is why he is such a great host. Thanks again for taking the time to talk with me Adam; it was truly an awesome experience.

Finally, my summer came to its unofficial conclusion last week with a family vacation at Narragansett beach in Rhode Island. My wife’s family and mine shared a large house across the street from the beautiful beach in what promises to be an annual event. Fortunately, the house had ample room for brothers, sisters, significant others, as well as visiting friends, uncles, aunts, and cousins. We all got along famously, and had a wonderful time. Fancy hotels are nice and all, with the fresh sheets and pillow mints, but give me a house full of family and sand any day of the week and twice on Sunday. You just can’t beat home cooked meals and home cooked entertainment. I am so blessed to now have two families that I love and whose company I truly enjoy. Great thanks to our parents for making this possible. We can’t wait for next year.

So that’s all the news from my summer that’s fit to print. I hope y’all had a great end to your summer as well, and I hope you have a fantastic Labor Day weekend. While it is sad to see another summer pass on by, we have cooler nights to look forward to, the return of our favorite programs on television, and of course…football season!

Today, August 29^th, marks the 3^rd Anniversary of Hurricane Katrina’s arrival on the shores of Louisiana, as yet another major storm, Gustav, bears down on the region. Last year I wrote a piece on Katrina and New Orleans that still applies today. Please give it a read if you get a chance.

Katrina & the Heart of the Crescent

And stay tuned next week for my recap of the news and events of the last half of Summer 2008.

…on Andrew’s Exit.

As most of you reading this may already know, our dear friend Andy was eliminated from I Survived A Japanese Game Show, leaving only four remaining contestants. While Andy was eliminated after losing the clothes changing competition (let’s face it, we all knew he was in trouble going in to that one, unless he were rapidly changing from an orange reflective safety vest and a silver helmet to a toga), he most definitely survived his latest foray into reality television. I’ve watched enough reality shows to know that it is way more important to leave with your dignity than leave with the prize money. A quarter of a million dollars will be gone someday; but if you come off like a total asshole in front of millions of people, that can stay with you a very long time.

The irony is not lost on me that I am talking about Andy leaving the show with dignity and class, even though he exited in a pink, ill-fitting, Bo Peep outfit. But he did just that; and this illustrates how cool and funny and smart and charming Andy was on the show. And he even flipped the script on the Crazy 88s (see Kill Bill: Vol 1) when he charged them as they attempted to carry him off the set. You could see the fear in their eyes. And as the Crazy 88s labored to carry Andy away, host Rome Kandu even made a point of saying in Japanese to the studio audience what a nice guy Andy was.

In reality television – which is hardly real at all – the producers create stories and characters through the art of editing. If they want to paint someone as a jerkoff, they can do so by cutting and pasting a collection of jerky behavior that was captured on film. But in the case of Andy, the only picture that they were able to paint was of one hell of a great guy.

I know I can speak for everyone, Andy, when I say how proud we all are to call you a friend and to call you family. You were clearly the smartest and most charismatic contestant on the show; and judging just from the response to my blog postings on you, you have a legion of devoted fans out there. You represented like a champ, my man. And I have a feeling that this will not be the last time we see you on television. Well done dude.

…on A Bad Week.

Happy Friday to you all. The Monday Morning Punter has had something of a difficult week, which has led to this post coming so late in the week. First of all, I had a “painting job,” which was good because they have been few and far between what with the poor economy and all. The quotations are there because I never actually got to do any painting. Again, because budgets are tight, and people just don’t have that much money available for home improvements, the homeowner was only able to afford the prepping of the walls. They intend to do the painting themselves (this might lead to a later call, however.) So this meant that I had to spend a few days stripping wallpaper and spackling. Ugh! (On a side note: I will never understand what possessed people to paper their walls. It shows such a lack of foresight. It’s like tattooing your walls. The removal process is just as painful. Little Bobby is soon gonna outgrow that Phillies wallpaper with the diagonally running baseball seams. And then you’ve got to pay someone like me at least $500 to remove it and fix the damage.) Wallpaper removal is a messy, sticky, pain in the ass; and no matter how many products are available claiming to make the job a breeze, it is always a nightmare (in fact, plain old warm water works best as far as I’m concerned.) The worst part of the job, however, was that I never got to the fun part, coating the freshly smoothed walls with a cool, vibrant color. There was no payoff. It was as if you went on a date with your lover, got home, stripped of their clothes, only to have someone come in and tap you on the shoulder and say, “OK. Good job. I’ll take it from here. Oh, and here’s your $500.” Now that I think about it, this may not sound like a bad deal to some of you out there. Hahahahaha. And please, save the “spackle” jokes; I’ve already thought of them. Hey, I never said this blog was rated PG.

But, work is work, and I looked forward to depositing the check, the real payoff. But when I slid the check into the ATM (which is so cool, by the way: all I have to do is slip it in and the machine even reads the amount) even this splendid act was ruined when I found out that my account was overdrawn. Someone had wiped out my checking account by making fraudulent charges online. The Monday Morning Punter had his identity stolen! Of course, the joke is on the perpetrators of this heinous crime. For one, anybody who needs to buy hundreds of dollars worth of shoes and sunglasses with someone else’s money has some major self-esteem issues to deal with. And second, whoever went through all this trouble (and I have a suspect in mind) got themselves one shady identity, that of a world class Punter. Their personal credit rating has probably dropped just by being associated with my identity; they now have an outstanding warrant in Vermont; and I’m sending over my bookie to collect on a few debts just in time for football season. Hahahahaha. Only some of that is true. (When I write out my laughter like this, picture in your mind’s eye Ray Liotta in Goodfellas, laughing like a maniac in his Mother-in-law’s face.)

So after having to deal with all of that, as well as the maddening sounds of jackhammers digging up the street in front of my house as I write these words, it was with good fortune that I had the wonderful opportunity to listen to the Dalai Lama speak in person at Lehigh University this past Sunday, with my Wife Jen, Sister-in-Law Kelly, and Dear Friend Christopher Spinney. His Holiness spoke of the importance of maintaining a calm mind when dealing with stressful situations. This resonating message kept my head from exploding. And I’m happy to say that my checking account has been restored and secured, and the Monday Morning Punter’s identity is back where it belongs.

To be continued in…on His Holiness the 14^th Dalai Lama.

Coming later today…